Kat Von D on Dealing with Jesse James Breakup: 'I Suck'
07/28/2011 AT 03:00 PM EDT
What would have been her first public appearance following her split from Jesse James turned into a dramatic exit when she walked out of the Good Day L.A. studio Wednesday before her interview even began. Then it turned into a Twitter war with one of the show hosts. Finally, she says, it turned into a moment of clarity.
"What can I say?" the title of her Wednesday night blog post reads. "I suck. I allowed today to get the best of me."
A day after news broke that James, 42, and Von D, 29, called off their engagement, the LA Ink star, who's supposed to be promoting the new season of her show (set to premiere Thursday), says she's not saying sorry – she's saying she's "not strong enough."
"It is in my nature to admit when I'm weak," she writes.
She's also not apologizing – or dissing – her relationship with James, with whom she first stepped out last summer.
"In my relationship, I never before felt as solid and strong – even though the world said different by all the criticism," she says. "Lost a lot of friends and even caused turmoil within some of my family members because of the bull– the media put out there. Some fans even changed their perception of who they thought I was."
The tattoo artist also clarified that although "none of this happened overnight," she had only the best intentions for her relationship with James.
"It felt like it was just the two of us against the world," she says. "Never planned on walking away from this relationship, let alone the timing of things."