08/15/2011 at 04:00 PM EDT
Kelly Bensimon is setting the record straight about her sometimes outrageous behavior on The Real Housewives of New York City
After Bensimon, 43, had her now-infamous meltdown
during a cast trip to St. John's, "people called me crazy," she admits in the September issue of Shape magazine
."But what they saw was me reacting – in an honest way – to a situation that wasn't honest. Then everyone ganged up on me. So, of course I looked crazy!"
Bensimon was so distraught by the backlash from her erratic behavior on the show that she almost didn't return for the fourth season. It was her daughters, Sea, 13, and Teddy, 11, who convinced her to let the public know who she really is.
As for the rumors she's on drugs, Bensimon, who shows off her toned physique on Shape
's cover, says they go against her strict fitness philosophy.
"My body is like a Ferrari," she says. "I know what it needs to run well – and that doesn't include drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes."