Kim Kardashian: I Married for Love – Not TV
11/01/2011 AT 08:40 PM EDT
"I married for love," the reality star writes in a new blog post on her website. "I would not have spent so much time on something just for a TV show!"
Kardashian and Humphries tied the knot in a lavish ceremony in August that was taped for Keeping Up with the Kardashians. On Monday, she filed for divorce, citing "irreconcilable differences."
But it's the televised wedding – not the divorce – she now feels was a mistake.
"I share so much of my life on a reality show, that contemplating whether to even film my wedding was a tough decision to make, and maybe it turned out to not be the smartest decision," she writes. "I felt like I was on a fast roller coaster and couldn’t get off when now I know I probably should have."
"I got caught up with the hoopla," the post continues, "and the filming of the TV show that when I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn't know how to and didn't want to disappoint a lot of people."
Kardashian, who jetted to Australia Monday to launch a new line of purses, explains that her decision to call it quits – which "devastated" her husband – was tough but, ultimately, the right one to make.
"I'm a hopeless romantic! I love with all of my heart and soul. I want a family and babies and a real life so badly that maybe I rushed in to something too soon," she writes on her blog. "I have to follow my heart. I never had the intention of hurting anybody and I accept full responsibility for my actions and decisions, and for taking everyone on this journey with me."
Continues the post: "It just didn't turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for."
And just in case anyone was wondering about the gifts the 440 wedding guests gave the couple, Kardashian has an answer for that, too.
"I'm so grateful to everyone who took the time to come to my wedding," she writes. "I'll be donating the money for all the gifts to the Dream Foundation."