Demi Moore Embarrassed by Public Breakdown, Says Source
01/31/2012 AT 08:00 PM EST
Privately, however, the 49-year-old actress had been unraveling in the months since her November split from husband Ashton Kutcher.
As she seeks treatment in the wake of her hospitalization on Jan. 23, Moore is struggling with the public nature of her breakdown.
"Ego-wise, this is the worst thing that could happen to Demi, because she's such a private person," a source close to the actress' circle tells PEOPLE. "She's embarrassed."
But Kabbalah, the form of Jewish mysticism that Moore has long studied, instructs that adversity can ultimately prove beneficial, according to an insider.
Moore's troubles "can be an opportunity, a blessing, and not a curse," says the insider. "The right intervention happened in her life. From a spiritual sense, it is a gift. She has a real opportunity to grow from it. She has to take responsibility for her life."
Reporting by ELIZABETH LEONARD