Ben: Courtney Showed 'Softer, Sweeter Side' on Women Tell All
03/06/2012 AT 07:15 AM EST
Fortunately, the women took it pretty easy on me and I would like to thank them for that.
After watching this episode, and not having been a part of the majority of taping that evening, I was surprised to see so many of the women still going at one another. I would have thought that after a few months of not being around each other they would start to bond over the experience they had all just shared. I was wrong again.
Maybe it still felt fresh after watching the season on TV. And there is something that happens when you go on this show that unlocks your emotions that I can attest to.
I know that Blakeley took a lot of heat from these women, but I want to say again that I respected the fact that she stood on her own and focused on our relationship and didn't let the women affect her as much as most people would have thought. As far as Samantha goes, I wish I could say something nice but honestly, I think you can all see why she went home earlier than expected based on the way she spoke to the women. I'll leave it at that.
Poor Shawntel. I still admire the fact that she followed her heart and came back to see me. The women were so cruel to her and my heart still goes out to her. I won't deny that there might have been a connection with her but it was all about the trust I had built with the women I had at that point and couldn't break it. In her defense, I knew her better at that point than any other woman, but it was circumstantial and I had to ultimately say goodbye.
Watching Nicki and Kacie B. take the stage made me smile. I have nothing but respect for these two women and wish nothing for the best for them for the rest of their lives. I think that I got to know them both so well that there will always be a mutual respect between us. Saying goodbye to both Nicki and Kacie was easily the hardest decision I made all season. I actually don't know which goodbye was harder. It still breaks my heart to watch these women go through the pain I caused them by ending our relationships. I feel so lucky to have gotten to date them. They are women of a high caliber and I truly appreciate the honesty and vulnerability they showed me throughout our time together. Ugh. Still tough.
Moving on to Courtney. Oh Courtney. I don't think I even know where to begin with this one. Believe me, I appreciate what she did by coming on "Women Tell All" and apologizing for her actions and it seemed genuine to me. I'm glad there was some sort of resolution with the women because it needed to happen. To see an emotional side of this woman was a good thing and it makes her feel like she is human, and a softer, sweeter side is shown. It's a side that I saw throughout the journey that no one else did.
I guess that's it for now. One more week until the show is over and my time as the Bachelor is up. What a ride.