Giuliana Rancic 'Didn't Want to Look in the Mirror' After Mastectomy
03/16/2012 AT 10:45 AM EDT
"While I was recovering, I was thinking, I'm really going to be asking people what they're wearing?" Rancic, 37, says in the April issue of Glamour. "I didn't know if I could find the joy in it again."
But, she admits, it "didn't take long" before she got back into the groove.
Rancic says she told her coworkers: " 'I'm the exact same person I was before. I'm still shallow, I still love clothes, I still want to talk fashion, I still want to gossip, so lay it on me.' "
As for her husband Bill, he tells Glamour of the experience: "As a husband and as a man, you wish you could trade places with your wife, but you can't, and it sucks."
Even knowing that she had survived cancer, Rancic had a hard time staying optimistic after her double mastectomy.
"At first I didn't want to look in the mirror, because I felt like, I'm getting better every day and this is about my health, so I shouldn't get bogged down by what I see in the mirror," she now says. "I knew I wasn't going to look like a bikini model, so why look? Why even put the image in my head?"