Giuliana Rancic 'Didn't Want to Look in the Mirror' After Mastectomy

03/16/2012 at 10:45 AM EDT

Giuliana Rancic 'Didn't Want to Look in the Mirror' After Mastectomy
Guiliana and Bill Rancic
Courtesy Glamour
After undergoing a double mastectomy last year following a diagnosis of breast cancer, Giuliana Rancic says she had hesitations about returning to her job as an E! News anchor.

"While I was recovering, I was thinking, I'm really going to be asking people what they're wearing?" Rancic, 37, says in the April issue of Glamour. "I didn't know if I could find the joy in it again."

But, she admits, it "didn't take long" before she got back into the groove.

Rancic says she told her coworkers: " 'I'm the exact same person I was before. I'm still shallow, I still love clothes, I still want to talk fashion, I still want to gossip, so lay it on me.' "

As for her husband Bill, he tells Glamour of the experience: "As a husband and as a man, you wish you could trade places with your wife, but you can't, and it sucks."

Even knowing that she had survived cancer, Rancic had a hard time staying optimistic after her double mastectomy.

"At first I didn't want to look in the mirror, because I felt like, I'm getting better every day and this is about my health, so I shouldn't get bogged down by what I see in the mirror," she now says. "I knew I wasn't going to look like a bikini model, so why look? Why even put the image in my head?"

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