Demi Lovato Says Club Promoters Gave Her Drugs, Booze
04/23/2012 AT 06:30 PM EDT
Almost a year-and-a-half after completing treatment for "emotional and physical issues," the former Disney starlet, 19, says she's too insecure about her physique – she's now a size 10-12 – to book new projects.
"I need to be secure in my body before I go back in front of the camera," Lovato tells British mag Fabulous.
"Anyone in recovery from an eating disorder would find that triggering, and I'm not ready … Knowing I have bad angles and the photographer can take a bad shot makes me insecure."
The troubled actress, who has previously played down past drug use, also opens up about how she was exposed to drugs and alcohol even though she was underage.
"Promoters gave me drugs and alcohol in restaurants or clubs," she admits. "They wanted me to come back so I would be seen there. They were basically kissing my ass. I thought they were my friends. I thought I was having fun."
Lovato says she can see how young stars end up in trouble – or worse. "Being a celebrity can be dangerous. Nobody says 'no,' " she says. "That's why so many end up overdosing and dying. It could definitely have happened to me."
Eventally Lovato got help, but she describes treatment as "really hard and scary."
"I had 14 hours of therapy a day. I listened to music and learned to knit. When I finally left, it was like being let out of prison," she says.
Looking back at her ups and downs, Lovato says ultimately she doesn't regret having a childhood spent in the limelight.
"There were times I wish I'd been a normal teenager so I could make mistakes and not be scrutinized. But I don't mourn the childhood I never had. I'd rather have been traveling the world and making albums than at high school."