Survivor's Kat Edorsson Does Not Mind Being 'The Clown'
05/05/2012 AT 04:50 PM EDT
In anticipation of blindsiding tribemate Sabrina Thompson, Edorsson, 22, told host Jeff Probst she found blindsides "exciting" and "funny," but she was not laughing when she was the one sent to the jury instead.
Speaking to PEOPLE Thursday about her "million dollar mistake" during the reward challenge, the timeshare rep from Orlando, Fla., touched upon why she wishes Troy had encouraged another player instead of her, and how she doesn't mind being "the clown."
You were very emotional during your exit interview.
I was so devastated. I couldn't even speak. It took so long for them to get those words out of me. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed. It hurts your soul. I just felt that I was not good enough. I felt so betrayed and alone. It changed how I felt about blindsides. It was a lesson to be learned.
Were you suspicious when you became the main focus of the tribal discussion?
It was like my sisters giving me a hard time because I got bad grades in school. I was like, "Okay, guys, leave me alone and lets get to why we came to tribal – to talk about Sabrina." I had absolutely no idea that was going on. Jeff was basically saying, "Kat, you're getting voted off, why don't you say something?"
Do you think you accomplished your goal of not being seen as a weak player?
I really did. I was the one that constructed our girls' alliance on day two, which is insane! Alicia got the credit, which was lame, but it was me. I felt that I was very involved in the decisions that were being made and I wasn't getting the credit for them. I wish I had not stuck with what I thought I knew and thought a little bit more about being strategic and entertaining ideas.
Kim made inside alliances – with Alicia and I and with Chelsea and Sabrina. Unfortunately I didn't feel the same way because I knew that Chelsea and Sabrina were going to go as soon as possible, because they were fantastic players. Chelsea was an All-American hero for every woman and Sabrina had great communication.
Any other regrets?Everyone was upset with my decisions during the reward challenge. That was my million-dollar mistake. I shouldn't have chosen Alicia and Kim, but I don't think it would have benefited me to pick Christina or Tarzan. The family reward challenge is death. It only makes the game even harder by having to pick two people because ultimately you are going to hurt somebody.
What about Troyzan telling you "do it" when he was voted out the week before?
Troy saying that to me was the sign of death but I know that wasn't his intention. I wish he would have given me a wink instead of saying, "do it." I wish he had said, "Do it" in Kim or Sabrina's ear, then we would have gotten rid of one of them.
Do you know what appendicitis is now?
I got so much flack for that but I was serious, and I didn't want to catch it. I thought we were getting it from being outside in a different country. I didn't want to die that day, so I asked. Apparently it was really funny. I love when people laugh, and if they have to laugh at me so be it. I think it is a beautiful thing. I don't mind being the clown for the day.