06/17/2012 at 08:00 PM EDT
Before the world began keeping up with her family's antics
, before the fragrance lines
and before the magazine covers
, Kim Kardashian
was famous for the infamous.
But now, five years since her sex tape with ex-boyfriend Ray J was released, the reality star says she understands the impact it's had on her career.
"Would you be where you are had there not been a sex tape?" Oprah Winfrey
asked Kardashian on Sunday's Oprah's Next Chapter
"You know, I think that's how I was definitely introduced to the world," Kardashian, 31, said of the sex tape, which was the focus of a lawsuit
until she settled with Vivid Entertainment to distribute it. "It was a negative way, so I felt like I really had to work 10 times harder to get people to see the real me."
Shooting down the long-lived rumor she released the tape herself, she says she's always been concerned about "humiliating the family," including mom Kris Jenner, 56, stepfather Bruce Jenner, 62, sisters Kourtney
, 33, Khloé
, 27, Kendall, 16, Kylie, 14, and brother Rob, 25, who joined her on the special.
When it was released, she said, she turned to her mom, panicked. It was a "really bad day" mom Kris Jenner recalls. "No mother ever wants to hear something like that," Jenner said earlier in the interview. "I could tell she was in a lot of pain."
Still, she told her daughter, "We can get through anything."
Today, Kim says she embraces the sex tape that jump-started her fame, as well as her 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries
, as parts of her life
"I have to live with the choices I have made," she said. "And I can't dwell on it."