Bethenny Frankel Wanted Her Daughter to Have a Sister Before Miscarriage

06/18/2012 at 05:00 PM EDT

Bethenny Frankel Opens Up About Miscarriage on Talk Show
Dr. Roshini Raj (left) and Bethenny Frankel
Michael Rozman/Warner Bros.
In July 2011, Bethenny Frankel told PEOPLE she had "anxiety" about her age when it came to trying for more children. In February, she admitted her fears came true when at eight weeks pregnant she had a miscarriage.

"It can be different for everybody," Frankel says of the heartbreaking event on Tuesday's episode of her talk show, Bethenny, which featured guest Dr. Roshini Raj. "For me, it's that I'm older. I'm 41. That was ringing in my head and that it's high-risk. But, I'm lucky to have my first child."

Frankel was especially disappointed about losing the baby because she "accidentally found out" from her doctor that she would have had another daughter.

"For me it was thinking about Bryn running around with another girl," she says.

Frankel can now relate to other ladies who have been through the same thing.

"I've honestly had women that I've been friends with in the past [tell me] they had a miscarriage," she explains. "And I kind of didn't really understand, and I'd say, 'I'm so sorry that's terrible.' But not until you really go through it, do you understand what it means. In your head, it's a person that could never be. You blame yourself as a woman."

Frankel says she got through the traumatic situation with the help of female peers.

"It was really just something that women were so supportive [about] and it was great to kind of go through that with other women," she says. "It's not really about me and my experience it's just kind of about being able to talk about it and women knowing that it's so common and it's not their fault."

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