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Emily Maynard Blogs About Kissing Guys and Sending Them Home

06/19/2012 at 09:15 AM EDT

The Bachelorette: Emily Maynard Blogs About Kissing Guys and Sending Them Home
Emily Maynard
Craig Sjodin/ABC
Right after the rose ceremony in London, I went back to the hotel, said goodbye to Ricki and left for Croatia to have more adventures on The Bachelorette.

Saying bye to my daughter was just awful, but right after I left, the babysitter called and said Ricki was already laughing and watching cat videos on YouTube. Clearly, she's her mother's daughter.

People always ask, "Why did you keep the guy with the egg?" I hope that after this date you all got to see what a fun, genuine guy Travis is, and can see why I had such a great time every time I talked to him.

Comparing a lady and her daughter to an egg is never a good idea, but thankfully we got to know each other beyond Shelley. We had so much fun exploring Dubrovnik and enjoying each other's company, but we both knew early on that we were destined to be good friends.



I honestly can't remember the last time I went to the movies on a date, so to be sitting in a theater with six men was a little crazy. As we were watching Brave, I couldn't help but wish Ricki were there, but that probably would've just made things slightly more awkward. I was surprised the guys loved the movie just as much as I did, but their smiles quickly faded when I showed them their attire for the day.

I wish you all could have seen these guys shooting bows, throwing giant tree trunks and then almost being reduced to tears because they were shivering from being so cold! Ladies, we may not be able to throw a tree across a field, but we can wear a cocktail dress in freezing cold temperatures without batting an eye.

Kiss & Tell

The afterparty was clearly a lot of fun for me, and I honestly didn't realize I had kissed so many of the men. Oops. There's not much I can say to defend myself other than if you can't kiss a bunch of cute boys when you're the Bachelorette, then when can you? I obviously take my position very seriously!



I was really happy that Arie and I were able to pick up right where we had left off, despite our bump in the road in London. I was too hard on him, but it was only because I felt so close to him, and I'm glad he was able to forgive me.

I decided to give Chris the group-date rose, because he was feeling neglected since our first date in Charlotte. As hard as it is, Chris wears his heart on his sleeve and I love that about him!

Too Confident?

I woke up on the day of my date with Ryan and felt so homesick. However, not too long after driving with Ryan, I was laughing and felt better. He has a very sweet, soft side to him, but at the same time there was always something about him that didn't sit well in my heart.

Despite his telling me I'd be a great trophy wife, it always felt like every conversation we had somehow led us back to his love for football or some other great attribute he possesses. I've always been attracted to the type of man that has a quieter confidence, and there isn't anything understated about Ryan's confidence.

While we did bond over our passion for our faith, I never felt comfortable being myself around him without feeling like I was being judged. That night I even asked Ryan if he would ever be the Bachelor, and he never gave me a yes or no answer, so that should have been warning sign number 1,298,398.

Despite all of this, for some crazy reason I still had such a hard time sending him home, and I know he was just as shocked to be going home. I'd be willing to bet he doesn't hear the word "no" very often.



That night I was feeling a million different emotions, so when I saw Arie standing at my door I couldn't have been happier. We've had this crazy pull to each other since our very first date and he is the person I looked to if I needed cheering up.

To hear how happy he and the other guys were about Ryan going home made me more confident in my decision. And it made me more confident in my relationship with Arie, because I could see how much I meant to him.

Usually I have my mind made up before each rose ceremony, but this week I just didn't feel confident in sending anyone home. Thankfully, Chris Harrison gave me one more rose. I truly do see something special in all of the guys I have left. Tune in next week to see if I was right or not!

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