In her PEOPLE.com blog, Diem Brown, the Real World/Road Rules Challenge contestant recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer for the second time, opens up about her desire for a child and the ups and downs of cancer and fertility procedures
So here it is. The second half of something I have always searched for as a cancer patient. I have always wanted to see a video showing from start to finish what the chemo hair loss process looks like.
I did the first half of the video, and here is the second/final half of my road to chemo bald-dom. Yes, I have become fascinated by the way chemo kills fast-growing cancer cells, so seeing my hair fall out each day was a double-edge sword.
At first it was frustrating and emotional – but as time went on my hair loss has become my visual proof that the chemo is working and is killing the cancer cells in my body.
I am excited that this video is out there now, because I hope it helps cancer patients not be so afraid of the "unknown" and helps them see that the emotional torment chemo can create does get better with time.
I also hope that the loved ones of cancer patients can get a glimpse of what goes on behind closed doors. I hope they can see and understand why so many cancer patients have drastic mood swings during treatments. I think all patients deserve some slack for being emotional at times. Behind a patient's smile and tough "I got this" exterior there are fights going on inside their bodies that they can't physically control, and that helplessness can bring its moments of utter emotional frustration.
As patients, you are allowed your moments of screaming, crying and just plain feeling like a crazy person. Just know you are never alone, that people love and care about you – even people you have never met!
If you are in a rut, go to a hospital support group or go online, as so many organizations are out there to support your mental state while your body is fighting for your physical state.
Thank you all again so very much for all your support. I am in this fight and am so very blessed to have your prayers, kind words and your personal experiences to help me navigate through this crazy road! :)
Hope y'all like the video!
Check back for updates every Thursday: Diem will be chronicling exclusively for PEOPLE.com her journey through fertility treatments, chemotherapy and her quest to educate others about ovarian health. You can also follow her on Twitter @DiemBrown.