Lindsay Yenter and Sean Lowe
03/12/2013 at 02:25 PM EDT
Her heart was broken on national television. So, it's only natural that Bachelor
runner-up Lindsay Yenter
was a little apprehensive about facing Sean Lowe
for the first time in four months.
"It was nerve-wracking," the 25-year-old teacher says of The Bachelor: After the Final Rose
, which aired Monday. "The last time I saw Sean was in Thailand [where he sent me home]. But it was good to see him again and ask the questions I wanted to ask."
Did she get closure?
"It's hard for me to be sad because I'm so happy for them," Yenter says of Lowe and Catherine Giudici
. "They're in love. And in a way, I'm happy to be part of their love story."
But reliving their breakup is still painful. "It was honestly that moment that every girl dreads," Yenter says. "I knew he was telling me 'I love you, but I'm not in love with you.' His heart had gone another way. It was a tough pill to swallow."
After the split, a dejected Yenter returned home, where she "went over every moment with my mom, talking through every detail, trying to find out what went wrong," she says.
"Watching the episodes was hard because the feelings I had for Sean were very real. Part of me will always love him. But at the end of the day, I just realized it wasn't meant to be."
Yenter is now dating and "very, very happy," and is grateful for her time on the show. "The whole experience made me grow as a person," she says. "I could have gone through a million heartbreaks to grow as much as I did. I have no regrets."