Amanda Knox Talks for First Time about Agony of Jail, Joys of Freedom
04/18/2013 AT 06:30 PM EDT
During an emotional, candid and wide-ranging interview, which took place in her mother's Seattle home over several days, Knox, 25, details her odyssey from carefree American college student in Perugia, Italy, to convicted murderer confined to a cell for four years for allegedly killing her roommate, British student Meredith Kercher.
"When Meredith was murdered and I was arrested, it was so shocking. It was paralyzing. Everything toppled," says Knox, who also shares the overwhelming joy of being set free after an appeals court overturned the charges in 2011.
Although these days she is back at college, dating her hometown boyfriend and relishing every minute she spends with her large and loving family, she is still haunted by the ordeal.
"Things creep up on me and all of a sudden I'm overwhelmed by the feeling of helplessness and that desperation and fear to even hope," she says. "Just that can make my heart race and makes me paralyzed until I can breathe it away."
Knox, who could face a re-trial after an Italian supreme court recently ordered a review of the case, has a new memoir, Waiting to Be Heard, published by HarperCollins, that will be out April 30.
For the exclusive interview and photos with Knox and her family, pick up the issue of PEOPLE Magazine on newsstands April 26.