I always dreamed of traveling the world – and I never thought being on The Bachelorette would be my chance. Boarding the plane to Germany, I had butterflies because I had never been to Europe. On the flight I daydreamed of romantic dates, castles and finding my Prince Charming.
I felt better than ever and truly thought nothing could change my mood for the week. Little did I know, drama was brewing...
I couldn't wait to spend a full day with Chris. It was important for me to see if we could have fun being tourists and just be spontaneous. I also wanted to see how he looked in a pair of lederhosen! Chris was so playful that I knew we could have fun together on a daily basis. And he was the perfect man to be there after my surprise visitor.
Even though I know I'm dating multiple guys, it was awkward to be in the middle of a fun and random moment with Chris and have Bryden show up. My worlds were colliding.
Bryden was not one to open up easily, but I was shocked he wanted to leave. He seemed so reassured in Atlantic City. Bryden should have told me how he was feeling back in the States, before coming all the way to Germany and interrupting my date with Chris. I didn't know if I should be angry, sad, worried, or what ... but it definitely raised questions about the remaining men. Are they committed to see if this could work or will they also leave unexpectedly?
I was caught off-guard and I'm not sure I said everything I had to say to Bryden. I'm definitely anxious to see him at the Men Tell All taping.
Chris made it easy to forget about the distraction. He is so supportive and comforting. He handled the situation gracefully and like a true gentleman. Dinner that night was straight out of a storybook. The palace, the dinner, the conversation, and the romance were beyond my wildest dreams. I truly felt like a princess. Chris made me feel special while dancing in his arms, as if we were the only two people in that ballroom. I almost forgot about the date crasher.
It's Snow TimeSledding is one of my favorite childhood memories! There is such joy in gliding down a hill without worries as the snow flies everywhere. The mountains were unbelievable and being above the clouds was surreal.
I was getting a little overwhelmed with group dates but because we had such a fun activity, this was one of my favorites. I loved watching the guys get giddy about sledding down the mountain. Everyone crashed at least once or twice, but it was so much fun that having snow in our faces didn't matter.
The igloo was massive and one of the coolest things I have ever seen. Spending time in there was such a treat after a fun day. This week was pivotal for me to re-evaluate my feelings for each guy and to see where they stood, especially after Bryden left. Juan Pablo turned up the heat in the igloo to the point that I thought it might melt. Zak continued to bring his sense of humor to these difficult group dates. James was as sincere as ever. And then there was Brooks.
It has been awhile since Brooks and I had our first one-on-one date so it was important for me to reassure him of my feelings. We always enjoy our time together and make the most of every moment, but it is hard to have a date early on and then watch other connections form.
I have been there before and understood what he was feeling, so I gave him the group date rose to show him that I cared. I had always hoped for that reassurance from Sean on group dates, which I didn't get in the form of a rose, so I knew I wanted to do things differently as the Bachelorette.
Most Awkward Date EverWhen I was told Ben might not be there for the right reasons, I decided to invite him on the two-on-one date with Michael. Of all the men, I knew Michael had my back no matter what. Two-on-one dates are never easy and are bound to have awkward and uncomfortable moments, but nothing could've prepared me for the conversation that went down that night.
Floating in a hot tub (or in this case, a hot tug) on a lake, surrounded by snowcapped mountains, should be a recipe for romance. Not this time. The hot tub was really awesome, but it was obvious that Michael and Ben did not get along. I assumed that they would be cordial with each other for my sake, but the tension in the room during dinner could've been cut with a knife.
I was disappointed in Michael for being abrasive with Ben and for putting me in such an uncomfortable position. At one point I thought about sending them both home. But it was clear that Michael was passionate about how he felt, so I needed to find out more.
It was a huge red flag that Ben couldn't get along with an entire house full of amazing, trustworthy men, so I knew there was something underlying there. I need a man who can go new places, meet new people and get along with others, so it was only right for me to send Ben home. I'm normally such a good judge of character. When I gave Ben the first impression rose, I figured we had real potential.
So Hard to BelieveIt was interesting to watch the men talk about James. I was oblivious to the conversation Drew and Kasey overheard. The qualities and kindness I found in James were about to come to a crashing halt. After the Ben debacle, I had to give this one serious attention – but was it taken out of context? It seemed so hard to believe.
Next week I have a very emotional decision; the men will get competitive once again, Zak and I will explore our bodies. It will be an exciting week with emotions running high and feelings of love growing. And it all takes place in one of the most incredible places I have ever been – Spain!
Thank you for watching and reading my Bachelorette blog!
Craig Sjodin / ABC (2)