Justin Guarini: I Skip Meals in Order to Feed My Kids
08/15/2013 AT 11:05 AM EDT
The 34-year-old, who came in second to Kelly Clarkson on the show's first season in 2002, remembers the days when "I couldn't walk the street without being stopped a hundred times" by fans.
But on his blog Wednesday (which had been removed but is back up), the father of two admitted that he now spends "days skipping meals in order to make sure I have enough. To make sure my children and my wife have enough."
While his costar in the 2003 film From Justin to Kelly has gone on to win Grammys and sell more than 20 million albums worldwide, Guarini is having trouble making ends meet.
"I'm unafraid to say that I am terrified," he writes. "I am struggling to make each day meet the next without breaking down and curling up."
Guarini, who welcomed second son Asher with wife Reina Capodici in February, looks back on those heady Idol days and remembers how he traveled in limos and didn't worry about how much he spent on dining out or expensive clothes, but admits that while his life now "ain't perfect," it's "filled with love."
"I have a wife whom I love and who loves me (me!) and who lifts me up. Children who give me cherubic-lipped kisses before I leave for work and who are the most delicious morsels of joy and peace and prosperity."
There's also the prospect of good work next month. Guarini is set to play on Broadway in the role of Paris in William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, starring Orlando Bloom and Condola Rashad as the star-crossed lovers.
Though his rep has said the blog post was authentic, the singer and actor Tweeted that its message has been misinterpreted and that he's "nowhere near poverty."