Happy 70th Birthday, Keith Richards!

UPDATED 12/18/2013 at 05:15 PM EST Originally published 12/18/2013 at 02:00 PM EST

Keith Richards turns 70 years old Wednesday, defying the laws of both man and nature.

In tribute to everyone's favorite supernaturally durable guitarist, we've uncovered this amazing video of Hunter S. Thompson (another heroically excessive personality) interviewing Keef in 1993.

The video's chock-full of amazing parts, from the fax Richards sends to Thompson while ensconced in his hotel room ("DOC, I AM HERE BUT VANISHING. I WANT YOUR FEE IN CASH OR NO DEAL DOC") to the fact that Richards greets Thompson with what appears to be a cattle prod clenched in his fist.

Our favorite part is probably Richards debunking the famous "blood-cleaning/replacing" urban legend: "Who would want to change this blood? Who'd want it? Where would I put it?"

Also, we're not sure which is more surprising, that Thompson asks, "Where were you on Christmas Eve, 1962," or that Richards answers him with surprising clarity.

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