Happy Presidents Day: 13 Hilariously Un-Presidential Quotes from Commanders-in-Chief

02/17/2014 at 10:00 AM EST

Presidents Day is a time of solemn reflection on our nation's highest elected office. It's also a great opportunity to marvel at past presidents' funniest off-the-cuff remarks.

Happy Presidents Day: 13 Hilariously Un-Presidential Quotes from Commanders-in-Chief| Jimmy Carter, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan

Ronald Reagan

AP

"My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes." – Ronald Reagan, making an off-camera joke. (His microphone was on.)

Happy Presidents Day: 13 Hilariously Un-Presidential Quotes from Commanders-in-Chief| Jimmy Carter, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan

John F. Kennedy

CBS Photo Archive / Getty

"If I don’t have a woman for three days, I get terrible headaches." – John F. Kennedy

Happy Presidents Day: 13 Hilariously Un-Presidential Quotes from Commanders-in-Chief| Jimmy Carter, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, Individual Class

Abraham Lincoln

Keystone-France / Gamma-Keystone / Getty

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." – Abraham Lincoln

Happy Presidents Day: 13 Hilariously Un-Presidential Quotes from Commanders-in-Chief| Jimmy Carter, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan

Richard Nixon

AP

"You don't know how to lie. If you can't lie, you'll never go anywhere." – Richard Nixon

Happy Presidents Day: 13 Hilariously Un-Presidential Quotes from Commanders-in-Chief| Jimmy Carter, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, Authors Class

Bill Clinton

Harry Hamburg / NY Daily News Archive / Getty

"I don't know whether it's the finest public housing in America or the crown jewel of the American penal system." – Bill Clinton, speaking about the White House.

Happy Presidents Day: 13 Hilariously Un-Presidential Quotes from Commanders-in-Chief| Jimmy Carter, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan

Theodore Roosevelt

AP

"When they call the roll in the Senate, the senators do not know whether to answer 'present' or 'not guilty.'" – Theodore Roosevelt

Happy Presidents Day: 13 Hilariously Un-Presidential Quotes from Commanders-in-Chief| Jimmy Carter, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan

Warren Harding

AP

"I am not fit for this office and should never have been here." – Warren G. Harding

Happy Presidents Day: 13 Hilariously Un-Presidential Quotes from Commanders-in-Chief| Jimmy Carter, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, Individual Class

Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Hulton Archive / Getty

Franklin Delano Roosevelt once asked where his wife Eleanor was. (She was visiting a penitentiary.) Told, "She's in prison," he responded, "I'm not surprised. But what for?"

Happy Presidents Day: 13 Hilariously Un-Presidential Quotes from Commanders-in-Chief| Jimmy Carter, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan

Franklin Pierce

FPG / Getty

"There is nothing left to do but get drunk." – Franklin Pierce, (allegedly) responding to what he planned to do after leaving office.

Happy Presidents Day: 13 Hilariously Un-Presidential Quotes from Commanders-in-Chief| Jimmy Carter, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan

John Adams

Stock Montage / Stock Montage / Getty

"No man who ever held the office of president would congratulate a friend on obtaining it." – John Adams

Happy Presidents Day: 13 Hilariously Un-Presidential Quotes from Commanders-in-Chief| Jimmy Carter, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, Authors Class

Harry S. Truman

PhotoQuest / Getty

"If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog." – Harry S. Truman

Happy Presidents Day: 13 Hilariously Un-Presidential Quotes from Commanders-in-Chief| Jimmy Carter, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan

Jimmy Carter

NBCU Photo Bank / Getty

"I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming." – Jimmy Carter

Happy Presidents Day: 13 Hilariously Un-Presidential Quotes from Commanders-in-Chief| Jimmy Carter, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan

Herbert Hoover

NBC / NBCU Photo Bank / Getty

"Blessed are the young, for they will inherit the national debt." – Herbert Hoover

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