Last night as we were sitting on a plane coming home from visiting Pete's family in Rochester, N.Y., I found myself getting a little emotional.
On my right sat Pete whispering the occasional "I love you" into my ear, and holding tightly to my hand. On my other side was my 6-year-old son Noah, who kept kissing my cheek for no reason at all, telling me I was the "greatest mommy in the whole world." The longer I sat there looking at my two boys, the harder it was to hold back the tears. At that very moment, I was literally smack dab in the center of my entire world.
These emotional moments happen to me a lot, especially with the wedding getting so close. Sometimes it's hard to believe with everything that's happened in my life that in exactly 18 days I will be a Mrs., and the three of us will be a family. Am I nervous? Not at all. In fact, I have never been more sure of anything because for the first time, I feel like I have really done something right. And any moments that made me call into question "why" from my past suddenly make a lot more sense to me.
In fact, I think that's just it: Everything we fret about every day is preparing us for something bigger. In my life, I feel like anything really bad that's happened – the illness that nearly took my life in high school, the car crash I was in just a few years later, even the months I spent in the hospital in pre-term labor with my son – better prepared me to deal with the bombing at the Boston Marathon.
As a matter of fact, when I look back at my life I can give you examples of hundreds of somewhat negative moments that ended up as steps leading to something bigger, and often better. And while sometimes those bigger things aren't what we want, I believe that when you look back at life's moments, they'll all have been worth it.
Courtesy The Knot
This morning I found out that my absolute favorite, the fit-and-flare by Sophia Moncelli for Kleinfeld, won. When I first put this dress on, it felt like a symbol of one of those bigger things. If Pete and I hadn't gone through what we have in the last 11 months, we might not be where we are today, and who knows if we would be getting married.
We now have a new appreciation for each other that can't even be put into words. And I've seen firsthand that this is the man that will love me for the rest of my life, because he has already chosen to stick by me no matter what. And when I put on my wedding dress and am preparing to make my way down the aisle on April 4, I will thank God once again for every single obstacle that has been placed in my life. Because without them, I wouldn't be right here.
This week, help pick Rebekah and Pete's wedding flowers! Visit theknot.com/dreamwedding to select 'Whimsical Woodland,' 'Rustic Garden Party,' 'Garden Glamour' or 'Spring Awakening.'