This week was all about building my self-confidence on the dance floor. After last week's Little Mermaid dance, Carrie Ann said what Mark has been telling me since week two: I need to get my nerves and self-doubt out of my head! I've been dealing with nerves through this whole experience, and while I was hoping they'd get better each week, finding my comfort zone during camera-blocking day and the live show has had the opposite effect. I've found myself doubting more and more.
Week six is "party anthem" week, and it's all about having fun and letting go. This seems to be my inner stumbling block, which is actually the opposite of who I am with my family and friends! Mark and I practiced our cha-cha all week, but the real test will be when I get out on the dance floor in front of the lights, cameras and live audience.
I really do feel that my insecurities are becoming a little less important each week, and I'm trusting and believing that my confidence will shine through more and more. As I read so many of your comments, I consistently see, "Just let go!" – and trust me when I say, "I'm trying!" I really am.
I had a bit of a revelation this week that I wanted to share with you. This comes from my heart, and while some people may not understand each word in the context I mean it from, I’m finding that my journey on DWTS is so much more than I ever expected. I'm learning more about myself than I ever imagined. This has become way more than a dance show or a competition.
It's brought out insecurities I never realized were so strong, a better understanding of just how much I care about what others think of me (to my detriment), how courageous and strong I really am, and a newfound freedom to embrace being a confident, beautiful and sexy woman (on the inside) without being fearful or ashamed of it.
I've always known who I am and whose I am – and continuing to evolve and grow in self-discovery in the journey of life is a really cool thing. Here's to a confident dance! I hope you enjoy the show tonight, and don't forget to vote for Mark and me! You can do it by calling 1-800-Vote4-07 in addition to voting online at abc.com and facebook.com/dancingwiththestars.