04/21/2004 at 01:00 AM EDT
Poor David Letterman. He wanted to serve on jury duty in Stamford, Conn., near his home in the verdant state north of New York, but he didn't make the cut. "Maybe I should commit a crime and go to jail and see how this works on the other end," he quipped to reporters as he exited Superior Court on Friday through a back door -- escorted by a court official. The "Late Show" host couldn't explain why he wasn't picked to sit. "I'm considerate and thoughtful," he said. "I would have been a good juror." Perhaps the lawyers selecting the panel of supposedly impartial observers had heard Dave's threat on one of his show's last week. "Not only am I going to be on the jury," he announced on the air. "I want to RUN the jury." The judge presiding over the case in which Letterman wasn't picked also reportedly thought Dave was too opinionated to serve. Dave said he only has one opinion: "Everybody's guilty."