PASSAGES: Chris Rock's Mom Rocks Radio
DIED: Emmy-winning character actor Michael Jeter, 50, who played the assistant football coach on CBS's "Evening Shade" and was known on "Sesame Street" as the Other Mr. Noodle, died in his Hollywood Hills home Sunday, publicist Dick Guttman tells AP. An autopsy is planned to determine the cause of death. Guttman said Jeter, who was HIV-positive but had been in good health, apparently died of natural causes.
INJURED: New York Yankees star shortstop Derek Jeter, 28, suffered a dislocated shoulder after crashing into Blue Jays catcher Ken Huckaby in the third inning of the season opener in Toronto Monday night. Jeter, who said at a press conference afterwards, "It hurts," is expected to undergo an MRI to determine the full extent of the injury, which fans -- and his team -- fear may keep him out for weeks. Meanwhile, the Yanks beat Toronto 8-4 on Monday.
DETERMINED: Commuter airlines, which operate small planes that closely monitor their passenger-weight load, are finding that Americans are heavier than ever, reports the Wall Street Journal. The findings may affect how many seats are permitted on aircraft. An FAA spokesman tells the paper that, although results of its study are not yet ready to be made public, airlines may be forced to weigh passengers before permitting them to board planes. Fat chance. (And this is no April Fool's joke.)