Aware of the dangers, Cruise and Kidman, who adopted Isabella in 1993 and Connor in 1995, scaled back their workloads enough to ensure that one parent was always there to tuck the kids in each night. Whether in Australia, where the family keeps a house overlooking Sydney Harbor, or at their sprawling estate in Los Angeles, both are hands-on parents. Other mothers and fathers are accustomed to seeing Kidman or Cruise at events at the private school the children attend while in Sydney, and Cruise, who often drops the kids off, has even sat at the back of the classroom to help Connor through the transition to a new Santa Monica preschool. "He seemed like a great father," says Angela Crickman, the mother of one classmate there. "His son was always smiling and he seemed really happy to see his dad when he picked him up."

By all accounts, Kidman is also a devoted parent. Yet, by and large, their twin commitments -- to be a close and loving family while barely throttling back their movie careers -- apparently proved incompatible. "Tom is the most ambitious, driven perfectionist I have ever seen, and Nicole is second," says Julian Senior, a marketing executive who worked closely with the pair on Eyes Wide Shut. "With her in Australia and in Spain, and Tom pushing on with his career, there was no slowdown anywhere."

Work -- and geography -- eventually got them down. Despite the amount of time the family has spent in Australia over the years, Kidman conceded in 1999, "Tom's an American boy, he just is. Born and bred." She, friends say, is the consummate Australian girl, enamored of her homeland and close to her parents, Janelle and Antony, a psychologist, as well as her sister Antonia, all of whom live in Sydney. "Tom loved the outdoor life that Sydney offered, and he probably loved the idea that it was easier for him to move around without too much interference," says Kidman's friend Duigan. Their different backgrounds "were part of what brought them together," he adds, though in the long run having to adapt to each other's cultures "may have ultimately contributed to their parting of ways."