November 19, 2003
CONAN'S REVENGE OF THE NERD
Conan O'Brien went back to high school on Saturday – only this time he wasn't in trouble. "When they called, I was sure they were looking for that paper on Walt Whitman," O'Brien deadpanned. Told that he'd been named Brookline (Mass.) High School distinguished alumnus of the year, the late-night host sighed, "This is a huge relief."

In the afternoon, the 1981 grad spent two hours with some Brookline High students. "These amazing kids are solving the problems of the 21st century," he said. "But what says more about them is that they decided to come to school on a Saturday. What are they, a bunch of nerds?"

One bold teen asked O'Brien for a favor. "I have this girl I really like," he said, "but I lost her phone number. I know she watches your show every night. Is it possible for you to give my number on the air so that she could call me?"

The comic paused a moment, then quipped, "I think that might be illegal."

At a black tie gala later that night, the talk-show host mingled with 450 guests, including student speaker D.J. Glaser, who preceded O'Brien to the podium and managed to upstage the guest of honor. "It's hard enough to address a huge audience," said Glaser. "But then I heard I was going on right before the funniest man in television. Fortunately, David Letterman could not be here tonight."

O'Brien shot back, "Who is that kid who made fun of me? He is through in show business!"

O'Brien then took a minute to thank his parents for "mismanaging our family's finances. Their inability to pay for a private school education made this award possible."

And he closed by riffing about how Brookline High School has changed since he was a student. "I noticed that they have sushi in the cafeteria," he said. "When I was here, we had no choices. They served one meal every day: American chop suey!"

Written by: CAROLYN EGGERT

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