So you've gone from working with the Olsen twins to playing the father of quintuplets. What's with your thing about multiple-birth situations?
It's the wave of the future. People are going to be having big litters just because pregnancy is such a drag. I wanted to get in on the beginning of that.
Not the good old Irish Catholic way.
Right. The only problem is there's no hand-me-downs.
Do you have any advice for Julia Roberts and the twins she's expecting?
Oh gosh. I think any advice I could give her for something to do, she could just hire someone to do it for her. Rich people having babies, they don't need advice. They just hire their problems away.
Yeah, you told us awhile ago that you felt a little guilty about hiring a part-time nanny for your son Willy (who's now 3).
Yeah. I don't feel that, I don't feel guilty anymore.
On Quintuplets, are there any particular trials that come with having five teenage costars?
Not yet. Let's wait until they're all big heartthrobs, and then we'll see. When they're ...
Yeah, when the teen egos start to really fire up. Then we'll see. That's when I'll just retreat into my trailer and never come out.
Does Willy get jealous that there are these five kids calling you Dad?
No. He doesn't know anything about it yet. Even when the show does come on, I don't think it'll really register. Unless I'm driving a train or a bulldozer, he doesn't care.
Are there any pranks on set with these kids? Are they goofing on you yet, or are they intimidated by you?
No. I am pretty mean to them, though.
In what way?
In a loving way. Just insulting them. Especially Ryan Pinkston (of Punk'd, who plays one of the quints). He's probably the most well-known. And so he's just a little too comfortable with his stardom! I'm kidding. But I do have a lot of fun with him. He's one of those people that's just fun to tease.
At this point, do you live in fear of being Punk'd?
No, because I always notice in those Punk'd things that there's like film lights around. So it would be really hard to fool me. This could be some sort of Punk'd thing right now. But I sort of doubt it. I don't know anything about the Kabbalah, so I don't think I'm going to get Punk'd.
Quintuplets is on FOX right after The Simple Life 2. Do you think being on after Paris and Nicole will help your show?
I think it's awesome. I think Paris should have sex on videotape all the time now, if it provides for my family. Which it does, indirectly.