Check out our ranking of 19 of the most memorable onscreen gifts, from worst to best. We're calculating not only the objective worth of the gift itself, but also the emotions and motivations with which it was given – after all, the worst gift in the world can be priceless if it comes from love.
Which would you want to see under your tree?
19. Louis Vutton Bag, Sex and the City
New Line Cinema
18. Joni Mitchell CD, Love Actually
Because you can't say "Your husband is cheating on you!" with an iTunes gift card.
17. A One-Year Membership to the Jelly of the Month Club, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
This is disappointing on its own merits – even if you love jellies, your family probably had something more substantial in mind – but it's even worse when what you expect to receive is a generous Christmas bonus.
16. A Carton of Cigarettes, The Breakfast Club
Universal / courtesy Everett Collection
15. TV Dinners, Better Off Dead
Pros: They can last the entire year. Cons: Everything else.
14. Shrunken Head, The Nightmare Before Christmas
Much like The Nightmare Before Christmas itself, it's unclear whether this is meant for Christmas or Halloween.
13. Wooden Pickle, Bad Santa
Dimension / courtesy Everett Collection
12. Towels, Scrooged
Conversely, a really nice towel could make a solid gift for the right person; it's the impersonal way Bill Murray hands them out that grates.
11. A Television Set, All That Heaven Allows
Another present that seems all right on the surface, until you realize that, as used in this Douglas Sirk melodrama, it's essentially a way for this housewife's grown children to keep her chained to her home.
10. Lingerie, Elf
New Line / courtesy Everett Collection
9. A Single Bullet, Lethal Weapon
Even for a cop, a single bullet is not the most useful of presents. But the subtext here is worth it: Riggs is telling Murtaugh, essentially, that the older man saved his partner's life.
8. Turbo-Man, Jingle All the Way
In the film Jingle All the Way, Turbo-Man is meant to be the best action figure on the market. The version seen in the film, however, was hopelessly generic – a point the film could've hit harder had it decided to fully commit itself to satire.
7. A Comically Oversized Joint, A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas
New Line Productions Inc.
6. A Birdhouse, Fred Claus
Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.
5. A Camera Lens/Steering Wheel, The Gift of the Magi
These gifts were thoughtful. Too thoughtful. Next time get each other something you can both enjoy.
4. The Nutcracker, The Nutcracker
Sure, he's a real prince, but you've got to remember this gift runs the risk of your house being overrun by creepy mice. A real "take the good with the bad" situation here.
3. Mogwai, Gremlins
As long as you read the fine print, you'll be fine.
2. A Million-Pound Shopping Spree, Millions
It doesn't count as greed if the money is about to expire!
1. Red Ryder BB Gun, A Christmas Story
Statistically, it is highly unlikely that you will shoot your own eye out with a BB gun, which renders most criticisms of this gift invalid. (We're talking for responsible, older kids here.) The Red Ryder BB gun is fun, useful and given with love. It's also a memorable, classic pop culture gift ... and to all a good night!