"The only emotional connection of relevance is with my dog," he tells the March issue of Details magazine. "My relationship with my dog, it's ridiculous."
The article also features the results of a grueling photo shoot, in which the Twilight heartthrob had to endure the company of nude women.
"It was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours," Pattinson, 23, told the magazine. "But I wasn't exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hung over."
In an interview brimming with TMI – he goes on an R-rated riff about a woman's anatomy – Pattinson likens the photo shoot to pornography, only the more wholesome kind.
"This shoot, it's kind of eighties nakedness, you know? If you look at porn in, like, the eighties, there was something kind of quaint about it, quite sweet – like this little naked community," he said. "The people who made it liked it, they had respect for it. Not remotely like the porn that's available now. No community in it at all. It's just everything, everywhere."