Despite reports over the weekend saying Bonas was mulling over an invitation to this Wednesday's Christening of Harry's nephew Prince George, the 24-year-old in fact has not been asked and wasn't expecting to be, those close to her say.
"It was always so unlikely that she would be invited. To say she is shy and mulling it over is rubbish," a family friend tells PEOPLE.
An appearance at such an intimate royal family occasion would also put unwanted pressure on the couple. "If she went to this totally private service, it would be tantamount to saying they were about to be engaged," a well-placed observer says.
The guest list for the service, to be held at the Chapel Royal in St. James's Palace, is being kept to immediate family of George's parents, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, and friends who have been chosen as godparents of the now 3-month-old boy.
One man who certainly will be there is the Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby. He will conduct the service, and gives William and Kate some advice about the ups and downs of parenthood in a video released Tuesday.
"What a treat; what an amazing gift; what wonderful times that you will have," he says. "There'll be great times and tough times – there always are with children. Through Christening, you're bringing God into the middle of it all."
At the 45-minute service, the Archbishop will splash water on George's head three times, rather than immersing him in the font at the Chapel Royal. He will then make the sign of the cross on his forehead. "It's an extraordinary moment," he says, "because that is the sign by which we understand that this person belongs to God."