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Sean Lowe Blogs: Selma's 'Unwillingness to Compromise' Cost Her a Rose
I was anxious to get to Canada and forget all about my discouraging week filming The Bachelor in Montana. It started off so promising with Lindsay and then quickly unraveled with the drama surrounding Tierra. Canada was my chance for a clean slate, and I was eager to start the week off on a great first date with Catherine.
I had just recently started to develop real feelings for Catherine. Our relationship was slower to develop than some of the others, but being with her felt natural. There was never a shortage of laughs, and she seemed like someone who truly fit the "best friend" description I had been searching for.
Between driving the ice bus, sledding down hills and drinking hot cocoa, our glacier date was perfect and so much fun. We turned up the romance that evening in our ice castle. We were able to bounce between serious moments and goofy moments so well. The night ended with kisses in the falling snow and I didn't want to say goodnight. The date helped put me back in a positive mental state. I felt hopeful again.
Icy Group DateI want a girl who isn't afraid to step outside of her comfort zone and will seize the moment. That's why the "polar bear plunge" was the perfect group date. Nobody wants to jump in freezing cold water – I know I didn't! – but I was looking to see who would step up and make a memory that will last forever. It was absolutely freezing that day. The air temperature was right at 32 degrees and the wind was blowing. The canoe ride alone made me want to head back to the hotel where it was warm.
Some of the women were willing to jump in the water, others were more reluctant – and then there was Selma. It didn't bother me that she didn't want to participate. It bothered me that she didn't even consider it. Later she told me that when she says no, nothing can change her mind. As if that's a good thing! I thought you were supposed to compromise and talk things through in a marriage. That reasoning was a large part of why I didn't give Selma a rose that week.
Anyway, we all took the plunge, and almost everyone was glad they did. Except Tierra, of course. She was whisked away by medics and I honestly thought she was experiencing hypothermia. In hindsight, I'm not so sure ... but she played the part well.
Later that evening I was convinced of something: I knew Sarah was not the one for me and I needed to send her home. I could have waited for the rose ceremony, but I wanted to explain myself. I didn't think it was fair to make her wait two more days when I'd already made up my mind.
Sending Sarah home was one of the hardest things I did during the season. It hurts me that she left feeling the way she did. She's such a beautiful, bright woman, and some man is going to love her forever. I just knew that man wasn't me.
Date with DesMy final date of the week was with Des. She and I had chemistry from the beginning. I was anxious to spend the day with her because she started to lose confidence in our relationship in Montana. She's another woman I always have fun with. Between repelling down a mountainside, having a picnic in a meadow and climbing a tree, I couldn't have imagined a better date.
That evening we had dinner in the coolest teepee, tucked away in a forest of the Canadian Rockies. She opened up to me about her childhood and how growing up with very little money has made her who she is today. It made perfect sense to me after hearing her story why Des sometimes hides her true feelings behind a smile. She probably had to put on a brave face during tough times as a kid.
I found myself wanting to be the man that supports her and makes her feel safe. Des and I finished the evening kissing and making finger puppets on the walls of our teepee. Once again, she was at the top of my list.
Tough GoodbyesThe rose ceremony was tough because I had to say goodbye to two great girls. I never imagined sending Selma home. After our one-on-one date in Joshua Tree, I thought she might be the one. But in the end, her unwillingness to compromise told me that she probably wasn't the girl for me.
And Daniella was equally as hard to say goodbye to, because she was so much fun to be with. We just ran out of time. Our relationship started too late and my feelings for the remaining women were a little bit stronger.
I can tell you, though, I felt so much better about the future after leaving Canada than I did leaving Montana. I felt rejuvenated and hopeful, and the women seemed to have their focus back on love.
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